Facebook Usurper

The blogs are kind of bumming me out recently. Q accurately diagnosed the problem last night when she quipped, in a shockingly (to me) casual way about something to the effect of how the blogs are done, having been replaced by facebook. And, indeed, why bother blogging about anything if you can just obsessively comment and read status updates on facebook? I would submit, though, that these two things simply don't serve the same function. Perhaps if we were all more open and confessional about leaving Notes on our profiles, this would be the case. As it is, pretty much the only stuff you're supposed to write in such notes are interesting and compelling bits and lists of favorites. It's the myspace survey all over again. While this has it's place, admittedly, and I like facebook way more than I ever liked myspace (the latter is quite simply too damned fussy), it doesn't rival the blogs. I've gotta say, though they've fallen off in recent months--first GeoffreyCrayon, then B--I still like them. I still like having one. This is really the only time I do this kind of writing, and while I'm not particularly good at it, I do enjoy it. A lovely difference from my bloody dissertation. Bloody in more than one sense.

So I, for one, am clearly guilty of not blogging. I think this is partially the time of year. I have more momentum in the late spring and fall, or maybe I'm just making that up. Really what it is is I've been waiting until I felt like I could write about something other than how devastated I feel after experiencing my worst case scenario on the job market this year. I always knew it would be bad, people start warning you about that when you're an undergrad with grad school ambitions, but I didn't think it would be as bad as it was. Where this leads me from here is into a shame spiral, k-hole, whatever you want to call it, where I obsessively recount my failures and wail mournfully about my future prospects. I've done that enough, so I'm not going to do it here. I'm trying really hard to pull myself out of that and reclaim my sense of forward motion. So I'm focusing on finishing. And putting off, for now, the job hunt. I'm telling myself that next year, when my dissertation is off my lap, I'll be able to focus on a number of different possibilities. To give you an idea of what I'm talking about, a job announcement I saw recently for a book manager at Amazon gave me a great deal of pause. Anyway, suffice it to say: badness.

Moving on, I really want something else to talk about. And this seems silly because I have so much else going on. I have dissertation drama, teaching drama, money drama, family drama. But for the last couple of months, all I've been able to do is scream about the job market. Ridiculous, right? I'm recommitting to my blog. Perhaps it can keep me from being such a whiny bitch.

Just in case you were wondering

or idling conjecturing...or pondering...or smugly musing...

Bret Michaels admitted on the third episode of Rock of Love Bus that he, indeed, has the finest hair extensions Europe can provide. Imagine all those flaxen-locked Swedish ladies swooning under his masterfully tied bandanna.

*sigh* A perfect ending to an otherwise mediocre day. Also, dig the pout.

Savage Love Fest

I just saw this on the Slog. I loved it too much to keep it to myself, even though I think BEM reads the bloody thing as much as I do. Anyway, if you can get past the weirdness of the letter, all the "imaginings" and "believings," which Dan is graceful enough not to mention, the whole thing is beautiful. Just the kind of pick-me-up we all need on the eve of the inauguration and Bush's last night in office. Enjoy.

Savage Love Letter of the Day

Posted by Dan Savage on Mon, Jan 19 at 2:06 PM

In your response to "Faithful Obama Girl" you refer to Rick Warren as a "gay-hatin', right-wing Christian bigot." I found this confusing. I can understand that he represents a political/social faction which has an agenda opposed to your own. I can also imagine that I can not even begin to imagine how any criticism of a gay lifestyle takes a sinister aura when it has a religious basis. However, is it accurate to describe Warren this way? Certainly, he does speak against the gay lifestyle, but would you say that anyone who does this is a hateful bigot? Is there a difference between the beliefs of Rick Warren and those of Fred Phelps?

I could understand if you described Warren (or myself) as a dangerously deluded Christian fanatic because you believe that our beliefs naturally lead towards the hateful bigotry of Phelps. I would disagree but differentiate between that description and the one you gave.

A Biblical Christian

Rick warren is Fred Phelps plus 100 pounds and a smile.

You can speak against the gay lifestyle without being bigoted. There are certainly aspects of "the gay lifestyle" that trouble me, and I'm as gay guys get. You'll certainly find examples of me taking gay men to task if you read through the "Savage Love" archives. But a person can't insist that people shouldn't be gay, or that gay people shouldn't have relationships, or that gay people shouldn't be parents or adopt, or that being gay is a sinful choice, without being considered a bigot.

Imagine if I told you that I only hated "the Christian lifestyle," and not, you know, actual Christians. Hey, nothing personal! I know and like tons of individual Christians, and I've broken bread with Christians, and I've had Christians over to my house. But I nevertheless think that Christianity—just the practice, not the people—is immoral and that no one needs to be Christian—it's a lifestyle choice, and Christians can change! Indeed, I was a Christian once. And while I have great affection for Christians I also believe that no one who is Christian is fit to parent, that Christians should not be allowed to marry or adopt, and that Christians aren't going to heaven because my God condemns their immoral lifestyle.

Oh, and I also believe that Christians being allowed to marry infringes upon my right to, um, live in a world where Christians do not enjoy that right.

Would you consider me an anti-Christian bigot then? I expect you would, ABC, and you'd be right.

I don't even care

that none of you care. I'm posting the vegan's 100 list that's been making the rounds on the foodie blogs for the last several months. I've been holding off, resisting, if you will. Today, though, in the midst of the shit storm, I don't even care.

"Your mission, should you choose to accept it:

1) Copy this list into your own blog, including these instructions.
2) Bold all the items you’ve eaten.
3) Cross out any items that you would never consider eating.
4) Post a comment here once you’ve finished and link your post back to this one.
5) Pass it on!"

1. Natto
2. Green Smoothie
3. Tofu Scramble
4. Haggis
5. Mangosteen
6. Creme brulee
7. Fondue
8. Marmite/Vegemite
9. Borscht
10. Baba ghanoush
11. Nachos
12. Authentic soba noodles
13. PB&J sandwich
14. Aloo gobi
15. Taco from a street cart
16. Boba Tea
17. Black truffle
18. Fruit wine made from something other than grapes
19. Gyoza
20. Vanilla ice cream
21. Heirloom tomatoes
22. Fresh wild berries
23. Ceviche
24. Rice and beans
25. Knish
26. Raw scotch bonnet pepper
27. Dulce de leche
28. Caviar
29. Baklava
30. Pate
31. Wasabi peas
32. Chowder in a sourdough bowl
33. Mango lassi
34. Sauerkraut
35. Root beer float
36. Mulled cider
37. Scones with buttery spread and jam
38. Vodka jelly
39. Gumbo
40. Fast food french fries
41. Raw Brownies
42. Fresh Garbanzo Beans
43. Dahl
44. Homemade Soymilk
45. Wine from a bottle worth £60/$120 or more
46. Stroopwafle
47. Samosas
48. Vegetable Sushi
49. Glazed doughnut
50. Seaweed
51. Prickly pear
52. Umeboshi
53. Tofurkey
54. Sheese
55. Cotton candy
56. Gnocchi
57. Piña colada
58. Birch beer
59. Scrapple
60. Carob chips
61. S’mores
62. Soy curls
63. Chickpea cutlets
64. Curry
65. Durian
66. Homemade Sausages
67. Churros, elephant ears, or funnel cake
68. Smoked tofu
69.Fried plantain
70. Mochi
71. Gazpacho
72. Warm chocolate chip cookies
73. Absinthe
74. Corn on the cob
75. Whipped cream, straight from the can
76. Pomegranate
77. Fauxstess Cupcake
78. Mashed potatoes with gravy
79.Jerky
80. Croissants
81. French onion soup
82. Savory crepes
83. Tings
84. A meal at Candle 79
85. Moussaka
86. Sprouted grains or seeds
87. Macaroni and “cheese”
88. Flowers
89. Matzoh ball soup
90. White chocolate
91. Seitan
92. Kimchi
93. Butterscotch chips
94. Yellow watermelon
95. Chili with chocolate
96. Bagel and Tofutti
97. Potato milk
98. Polenta
99. Jamaican Blue Mountain coffee
100. Raw cookie dough

from Bittersweet. I kick so much ass I can barely stand it. Either that, or I really do eat my way through every place I visit. And I'm a huge fatty.

My God. I Love a Reunion Special.

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It Fills the Void

I feel like the blog-o-sphere has gotten quieter, recently. Perhaps we're just looking at the late fall, holiday ennui that strikes all of us and saps of our desire to emote, at least in such a bizarrely public format. Well, you know. Public in the sense that people could inadvertently read it. Private in the sense that most likely nobody will! And I'm comfortable with that. There's a certain amount of pleasure in even the slight promise of anonymity, such as it is. Anyway, I hope someone was as tickled by the objectivist personals as I was. I will strive to keep you updated on the absurdities of Ayn Randism, particularly as the global crisis launches it into even unprecedented levels of hilarity. Ah, to be fifteen again and mulling over the crisis of my own gigantic ego.

What else? Happily keeping a handle on what remains of my self-esteem (or self of steam, as my students would have it) while rejection emails trickle in. A few here, a few there. It's all good. U of Colorado, though, hit a certain level of suckiness by sending out a perfectly nice rejection letter (So sorry, we got a billion applications, appreciate the effort, so on and so forth) on Thanksgiving day. Who does that? Maybe people in Boulder are simply more enlightened, and it wasn't a big deal to take a moment off from dwelling on the atrocities of colonialism to tap out a mass email to the hundreds of people who are no longer in the running for the position in Ethnic Literature? Thanks! I will admit, though, that they darken my day for a moment each time I get them. Here's to hoping that I don't receive thirty in a single afternoon! Maybe some kind school will send me a batch of cookies as a consolation prize? Poor B got the brunt of my frustration yesterday when he asked QC and I how many interviews we had lined up. I think I'm just getting to the point where when anyone asks me that I'll start screaming like the cast used to on Peewee's Playhouse whenever anyone said the word of the day!

Long Time, No Bloggy

And there won't be any today. Instead, I bring you news from that other, parallel universe occupied by Ayn Rand fanatics. What could be better, more gut-ticklingly funny, even at a time of extreme uncertainty, financial collapse, and soaring unemployment, than Objectivist Personals! I reproduce below for your pleasure. You're welcome.

Via Slog, for you non-sloggers.

In the Free Market for Love

Posted by Erica C. Barnett on Tue, Nov 25 at 2:17 PM

Three attractive Objectivists at The Objectivist Center's 2006 Summer Seminar

From the listings on the Atlasphere, a dating and networking site for Objectivists (via New York Magazine):

waitingfordagny, Chicago, Illinois
I want to meet a serious woman who both challenges me intellectually and inspires me to noble things by her beauty.

mxjohnxm, Greenville, South Carolina
“One can’t love man without hating most of the creatures who pretend to bear his name.”

thustotyrants, Selden, New York
[I am] short, stark, and mansome.

You should contact me if you are a skinny woman. If your words are a meaningful progression of concepts rather than a series of vocalizations induced by your spinal cord for the purpose of complementing my tone of voice. If you’ve seen the meatbot, the walking automaton, the pod-people, the dense, glazy-eyed substrate through which living organisms such as myself must escape to reach air and sunlight. If you’ve realized that if speech is to be regarded as a cognitive function, technically they aren’t speaking, and you don’t have to listen.

Zak, Long Island, New York
I am rational, integrated, and efficacious. So far, I’ve never met a person who lives up to the standard I hold for myself (except online).

I take my relationships seriously. I am simply not attracted to many of the women in this world. I do not “hook-up” with girls. I only kiss those who deserve, and so far I have only encountered one who did. I would love to find someone I can learn something from; someone who challenges me to think; someone I can feel like I’ve won, rather than lowered myself to.

lostpainting, Hagerstown, Maryland
Please note: If you’re overweight, I won’t date you. If you believe in God, I won’t date you. If you vote for Democrats, I won’t date you.

Lewis, London, U.K.
I love intelligent, sassy girls, particularly those working in consulting or investment banking (but other fields are great too). Really, nothing is hotter than an accomplished girl in a suit, as long as she is willing to settle down and have my children. I want a girl who will support my ambitions against the naysayers in society.

Rob, Stanford, California
Ayn Rand ignited the fire within me that was searching for the right spark. My every action is guided according to my philosophy, and my philosophy is the philosophy of Ayn Rand.

I am interested in meeting someone that truly embodies the values and virtues of Objectivism. I have found very few women that have not already been beaten down to a flimsy, irrational, empty pulp. I have changed many girls’ lives, but no one has blown me away yet.

I never “hook-up” randomly, I never kiss a girl that doesn’t deserve mine. I have yet to find a girl deserving of my falling in love with her. But “other people” are secondary values no matter what, so finding someone is not a priority for me.