Another Version of the Story

I found the following version of the now infamous events at the California University where Mel was called upon to defend the representations of Mayan culture in Apocalypto:

Northbridge, CA (O! Online) - Students and faculty at Cal State University at Northbridge were shocked earlier this week as an enraged Mel Gibson used a knife to rip out the still beating heart of a faculty member, and Mayan cultural expert, who had sought to criticize his most recent film "Apocalypto" for unfairly stereotyping ancient Mayans. The Professor, Alicia Estrada, asked Gibson if he had actually read about Mayan culture before shooting his film. Gibson then produced a knife from the small of his back and shouted, "Lady, f**k Off! You want f**king cultural sensitivity? I'll show you f**king cultural sensitivity! Make a f**king movie out of this!"

According to stunned onlookers, Gibson then pounced on Estrada and within seconds of a few deft strokes of his knife, produced her still beating heart as she collapsed before the crowd. Other Mayan experts in the audience stated that it was obvious that Gibson had indeed done his homework, at least on Mayan ritual sacrifice.

Estrada and her heart were subsequently rushed to a nearby trauma center where she underwent an emergency re-implantation procedure. University and hospital officials have stated that Estrada is currently in serious, but stable condition, and expected to make a complete recovery.

No charges have been filed in the incident as yet. California State police authorities are said to be investigating, but Cal State University campus police are currently declining to press charges. A spokesperson for the campus police stated that the incident pales in comparison to other incidents in the past that have arisen during everyday academic discourse and debate between faculty members.

Mel Gibson's publicist, Alan Nierob refused to apologize for Gibson's behavior, and denied that the movie "Apocalypto" was racist in any way. "I can understand the frustration from the Mayan hecklers who were present, but they represent a conquered people. To the victor goes the spoils of history."


Yes, p and b were kind enough to rescue me from the sickliness of watching this film by myself. For two hours and twenty minutes we were entranced by the flying heads, still-beating hearts, a head wound that was miraculously like a fountain, and a trench filled with corpses that looked remarkably similar to the creatures filthy lab of creation in Jeepers Creepers. I hope everyone could follow me on that last one. Basically, Mel gave us the slasher part of the slasher film within an irresponsible work of historical (or maybe, historically inspired?) fiction. I expected this and it's what I was hoping for from the film, largely. What I only came to realize in my mild incredulity after the film was over was that I had actually, against all logic and reason, expected a bit more nuance from the creator of the JCM (that's Jesus Chainsaw Massacre--thanks Faust--for you uninitiated). Ah well. At least now we know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, why it is that Mel Gibson thinks that the Spaniards were so able to conquer Mexico--the Aztecs were soaked in unrepentant sin. Cortez and his band--themselves far from exempt from the indelible stain of the Black Legend--really made the world safe for Christians and other decent folk who will not (presumably) start slashing up captured foreigners with obsidian knives. Right. Don't you feel better now?

On a side note, I once again lost altogether my ability to *stop talking*. This happens whenever b and I get into academic debates, particularly involving the genre in which we are both so deeply invested. Even the well-timed and articulate p couldn't stop the deluge. Our party was broken up suddenly by q, who had very sweetly permitted us to keep her up a couple of hours past her accustomed bedtime. Her appeal for rest prompted me to kick out our still debating friends, to continue that conversation at some later date...perhaps. I slunk off to bed some time later, feeling sort of guilty and dirty anyway. Ah well.