My glorious subject matter? A busy week. Twisting in the wind. So much potential rejection, so little time. Something along those lines.
The short version, to spare you all the banal, paper-pushing details, is that I've applied for a bunch of stuff recently and should have a good idea soon whether or not I'll be successful in any of these. In the meantime, the experience rather intensifies the usual sensation that my diss director assures me is "the quintessential dissertation experience." In other words, my sense of acute adriftness is dramatically heightened by dwelling even more in the unknown. Don't get me wrong, I'm not confused or anything about the nature of adulthood and all the void-twisting that it naturally entails. For a salient example, see my last blog entry. This is slightly less inter-personal, though, and more...professional? Pseudo-apocalyptic? Now I'm (obviously) exaggerating, but my point remains. And this is my blog, so I can whine about whatever I want to.
The upside, and there is a substantial one, is that Spring has finally arrived in Western New York. Daffodils are pushing their insistent heads up all over the places, and all the trees are covered with tight little leaf buds. The 'llonians are going batshit crazy, of course. Somebody at my (extra) place of employment told me the other day that he'd driven by at night, and it looked like "Disneyworld had come to B-lo"! I would think he was exaggerating were it not for the ice cream spills that now fragrantly coat the sidewalk and the cigarette butts (and a bra?!) mingled amid the aforementioned daffodils on the side of the building. So, indeed, Disneyworld, or something. It is beautiful, though. Q and I have been staggering around the city, blinking at the sun like albino moles. Joyously de-winterizing the house. Q has even torn into her Spring ritual of touching up every painted surface that has somehow been marred by our cold-weather hibernation, rat-nesting kind of activities. I'm planning a garden, which I think will consist exclusively (though I've not quite decided) of kale and tomatoes. How awesome would that be? We also have plans to build a compost bin, which can apparently be done cheaply and with minimal effort with a bit of galvanized chicken wire and some stakes of some sort.
Also, I'm making green tea cupcakes for Q's meeting, and plan to steal some of them. My friend from work is having an art opening that I'm looking forward to. And it's the last week of school. Rock fucking on, right? As soon as I grade that last stack of portfolios, I'm free from teaching for the foreseeable future. Super sweet.
Funny story, the aforementioned friend with the art opening featured in a dream I had recently. It was the bizarrely good kind. He and I were for some reason being forced to participate in a gender norming test of some sort. The first test fell to me, and consisted of my demonstrating how well I could iron his pants. There was an audience and everything. The awesome part is that he and I both thought the whole thing was so ridiculous and funny, that we couldn't even participate because we were laughing so hard. Ever have a dream where you're laughing your ass off? Like full, belly laughs that come from your guts? Anyway, that was my dream.
Feel free to rate the banality.
1 comment:
Hmmm...no fwowers in the gawden???? Pweese?
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